Voted Best Joke of Year in Australia

A guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."  

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."  

The man says: " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

Submitted by Marcus (via e-mail)

Wedding Celebrations!!

Just picture the moment.

You've just had the wedding ceremony. You've posed for the obligatory photos outside on the steps. You then revive the old fashioned custom of releasing doves for luck, viewed by all your relatives and friends.

You and your loving partner stand close to each other, each with a white dove clasped in your hands.

On the command of the photographer you send them soaring into the sky...................................

Click HERE to see the picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by Poodles (via e-mail)

A WISE WORD TO THE WARY

Watch out.....

I am a victim of the latest scam which is happening at shopping centres.

Two good looking 18 year old Polish women come to your car as you are parking your car.

One starts wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, the other comes to your window saying 'hi' while bending over with her breasts almost coming out of her blouse, impossible not to look, when you thank them and offer them a tip, they say No and beg you for a ride to Town.

You agree and tell them to sit in the back. On the way they start having sex in the back seat. Then one of them performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I was assaulted last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but I couldn't find them Saturday or Sunday.

Submitted by Sean (via e-mail)

School Photos

Do You Remember When You Were At School and They Took Those Group and Individual Photos and You Never Bothered To Keep Them?

Well Somebody Did and Here is Your Chance To have Another Look.

Just Click Here

A blonde girl calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it   started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger".
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".
He takes her hand and says, Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then...." he sighed,"...let's put all these Frosties back in the  box"!                                                                                   Submitted by Markus (via e-mail)

The Bunny and the Snake

 Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both  were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell  down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.  

"Oh, my,"  said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean  to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."  

"It's quite ok," replied the snake.  "Actually, my story is as yours. I too have been  blind since birth, and also never knew my mother.  Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are so at least you'll have that going for you."  

"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied  the bunny.  

So the snake slithered all over the  bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft  fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."  

"Oh, thank  you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement.  The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all  over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."  

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and  you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.  I'd say you must be either a Team Leader, Supervisor or possibly someone in Senior Management."